Merry Christmas Eve!

I haven't done a sort of "life update" post since September . . . how fast time flies!

Since my last final exam a week and a half ago, basically all I've been doing is watching cute movies and drinking large quantities of delicious tea.  No complaints there.  ^_^  Fall quarter was on the order of "almost bad," but I passed all the classes, praise God!  Most important to me was passing discrete math II, one of those jolly prerequisites for so much else.  (I got decent grades, too, which is still hard to believe.) 

My sister and I usually play a violin/cello duet before Christmas Eve service - this year we're playing Bach's Sinfonia from his Christmas Oratorio.  Our sheetmusic is pieced together from the cello part and a piano transcription; all the notes are original, but the instrumentation makes it sound a bit different.  (I hope we can record it eventually so you can hear it.)

Hope you have a beautiful Christmas week!  Stay safe and warm.  : )

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Change

It came suddenly this year.  Fall in the Pacific Northwest is not always magnificent; the trees are just slowly beginning to turn; the weather, overall, has been alternatively dry and muggy the last few months.  Nonetheless, fall is here and everywhere. It is not so much something you can see - just a thunderclap sense that something has changed.  (Oh, all right, Pumpkin Spice Lattes help...)

*These photos are from earlier this month; we are indeed getting real thunderclaps today!

What a year this has been already!  In a week and a half, my fourth and last year of college begins.  *double-take*  Can it be so soon?

Everybody is asking me what my post-graduation plans are.  Abridged answer is "get a job," but the other day I took time to jot something more thoughtful down in my journal.  Here is the paraphrased version:

• becoming self-sufficient (don't get me wrong, though, my family is the best!)
• pursuing perpetual education (self-taught)
• following God's Will above all
• using my independence, education, ideals, etc., etc., towards the best possible purpose (i.e. previous point)

This summer I had no job, internship, or classes.  It was intensely disappointing, for a variety of reasons.  But ultimately, I realized (for the umpteenth time?) it is silly to compare myself to others.  What was my goal in college?  To get a degree; to get a job with that degree.  So far so good.  It happens I am not a typical comp-sci student and couldn't possibly be.  I have other interests, just as strong and worthy to have majored in.  It's ok.  Comp-sci feels right (I'm quite happy with my choice) but it's not the be all and end all.  There are so many options. 

"The good thing about all of these deliberations, doubts, and possibilities is that I feel something  is changing and happening."  Couldn't say for sure what  is happening, yet, but I'm ready for this academic year.  Wherever you are in your own life, I hope it is a good year for you, too.

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Call it "segueway"

Waiting in-between classes on my last day of winter quarter.  The other day I realized I don't have any warm and fuzzy sentimental feelings about the end of this quarter - now that is progress.  That means I have learned something.  That's what's important today.  It's not the end of anything, just a segue to the next adventure.

There are only two and a half weeks left of Lent as well, which makes me a bit sad.  Not that I am not looking forward to finishing the self-denial part of Lenten discipline (I gave up Owl City, Sky Sailing, and Summertime's End, which hasn't felt easy!), but it is has been my first time really observing Lent, and very good for me mentally and spiritually.  I resumed reading the Bible (right now, the Old Testament) regularly and felt ashamed of my rusty - in some cases, absent - memories of some parts of it.  I've tended to find the Old Testament (apart from Psalms) often difficult to instantly connect to, but the book of Daniel was an awesome, moving read.  What Christian today has not felt his sense of isolation and the constant tests to his conscience?  There is nothing new under the sun; Sunday school teachers do not teach you about Daniel for nothing.

On the other hand, though I will be wistful when Lent ends, the end of Lent means Easter, Resurrection.  It is a sobering thing to remember life is always worth living because the perfect, sinless Man died so we can live.  I believe I have blogged that before, but it's something I repeat to myself whenever I struggle with depression (something I try not to blog about).  Resurrection is life, and life is victory; as much as possible, I try remember I'm on the side of victory and should live under the realization of every glory, beauty, and responsibility that means.  It's a great responsibility; that Victory is not only something worth dying for, but something worth living for.

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This is my normal life

And I love it. ♥  

Yesterday I got my computer science major declared LIEK FOR REALZ (that is, officially).  Java II ain't easy, but for sure, I'm happy with how things are going.  It just feels right again.  Everything feels right. 

Can you believe tomorrow is the last day of January?  Warp speed!

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journal 1.2 - The frozen days we set ablaze

Source: Uploaded by user via Marian on Pinterest

Like they say - no news is good news.  I had an awesome week.  School is going swimmingly, GMM is back, and Pinterest has taken up way too much of my time (yes, I actually-finally signed up, haha).  Now I think I'll have a nice cup of hot cocoa and read some more readings for school!

{ I really do want to be a better blogger - and actually write, you know, posts - so hopefully that is something I will be working on soon. }

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Always a good time

• Went to Starbucks to visit with Sophia the other day!  We don't often get to see each other, and it was fun being able to talk before winter quarter starts.
• Speaking of coffee, I've just got to say that I love Starbucks.  I've got nothing against Tully's either.  They're both part of our Seattle coffee tradition, so cool beans (pardon the pun).
• Started a poli sci book (one of my 2013 reading goals).  It's called America and the World, an interview with foreign policy advisors of George H. W. Bush and Jimmy Carter.  Very interesting, and somewhat disconcerting, so far.
• Watched S1 of Downton Abbey in the space of a day and a half.  Because we're cool like that (actually, the season is only seven episodes long).  I just read the synopsis of S2 (no copies at the library right now!) and we're getting ready to watch S3 E1 on PBS tonight.  Soap operas aren't my favorite, but I do like it better than Lark Rise (which was horribly addicting as well).  Anyone else going to watch S3?

 
By http://www.flickr.com/photos/bassijpkes/ [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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Let's talk forever just to past the time

It's taken me some time, searching for a new calendar, to realize next year isn't 2012.  This has felt like one of the shortest years of my life, which means I am getting old. 

The election and my cold threw my writing schedule off - the last week has been all about taking naps and staying glued to the internet.  Now, both are about over, and fall quarter is getting close to finished.  Life might not run in circles, but it seems like it's come full circle.  I've had to rethink and deal with stuff from what seems like a long time ago, actually not long at all in the bigger notion of things.  I've started to take some comfort in the thought that years are short.  Of course, it means every new year makes the past further away, but it also makes it closer in memory.

I'm a nostalgic person by nature, never thought about my future as much as most people do.  This could seem like a disadvantage, but it can be quite liberating.  Every time something you've dreamed about comes true, you feel encouraged.  It was a dream, not a plan; plans are good at falling flat or short of expectations.  If your dreams stay dreams only, then at least you haven't lost anything.. 

© Bob Gutowski

Even at this age, I am no closer to being like everybody else than I ever have been.  It makes me smile to see how society promotes individuality, when it really doesn't.  If you are really intent on being yourself and following God, there's few that would back you up, and even fewer who understand.  And I, in my weakness, always want to run for human help whenever I feel really alone - that's the hardest thing to get over.

Following God wholeheartedly is always worth it, though.  It doesn't matter whether your best plans are flawless or pitiful; if you're willing to be stubborn about following Him, He will watch out for you, through depression and apathy and every evil.  He'll give you the strength you need to be true to Him.

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Life and times, iv

sunsets that dazzle in the dusk

 
homegrown


library haul!


(like I have nothing else to do)

Going to watch The Remains of the Day (finished the book!).  Working on my Dracula story (Emiko says it's good so far!).  GMM was hilarious today!  School is frustrating (AHAHAHA laughter is the best medicine).  

Today was week 6, so there are five weeks left.  It turns out I have not officially declared my major (comp-sci) yet, but that is coming up, and it is more or less set-in-stone.  I was a bit down in the dumps yesterday, feeling that maybe I'd have made different choices if I'd had a better understanding of the way things were going to be.  However, at the time, I'd made decisions I really believed were the right ones, and that's all you can do, right?  It's way too soon to be regretful. 

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The real world

Adam, I'm abashed it took me so long...but I get this song now.

I'm tired of people cussing their heads off on the sidewalk.  I'm tired of people caustically bashing my political views as if they aren't legit.  I'm tired of people being oh-so-careful not to offend anybody or anything, except my faith.  I refuse to live in those people's reality. 

Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things–trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. . .So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that’s a small loss if the world’s as dull a place as you say.

Dear reader, don't ever feel stupid just because you're not worldly-'wise'. If that's what's meant by intelligence, it's better to be ignorant.

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School starts Monday

By Visitor7 [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

I'm rather excited.  No, really!  This summer has been beautiful--so many little things accomplished, brilliant afternoons reading outdoors, fun get-togethers.  But overall, I feel more than ready to go back to studying and the like (well, except for waking up at 5:15 am!).  The last half year has given me so much new perspective and time to reassess things, and I know it will help me this school year.

On a bookish note, I just read some really short stories by Kafka (from ManyBooks.net).  If you have just a half hour, I highly recommend them.  The first one is actually, I believe, an excerpt from his novel The Trial.  I'm not saying I totally understand them, but the style/format is really intriguing.

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