The election and my cold threw my writing schedule off - the last week has been all about taking naps and staying glued to the internet. Now, both are about over, and fall quarter is getting close to finished. Life might not run in circles, but it seems like it's come full circle. I've had to rethink and deal with stuff from what seems like a long time ago, actually not long at all in the bigger notion of things. I've started to take some comfort in the thought that years are short. Of course, it means every new year makes the past further away, but it also makes it closer in memory.
I'm a nostalgic person by nature, never thought about my future as much as most people do. This could seem like a disadvantage, but it can be quite liberating. Every time something you've dreamed about comes true, you feel encouraged. It was a dream, not a plan; plans are good at falling flat or short of expectations. If your dreams stay dreams only, then at least you haven't lost anything..
Even at this age, I am no closer to being like everybody else than I ever have been. It makes me smile to see how society promotes individuality, when it really doesn't. If you are really intent on being yourself and following God, there's few that would back you up, and even fewer who understand. And I, in my weakness, always want to run for human help whenever I feel really alone - that's the hardest thing to get over.
Following God wholeheartedly is always worth it, though. It doesn't matter whether your best plans are flawless or pitiful; if you're willing to be stubborn about following Him, He will watch out for you, through depression and apathy and every evil. He'll give you the strength you need to be true to Him.
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